How to have a Happy & a Long Lasting Marriage
Yes it's almost Valentine's Day! Everyone busy getting gifts for their valentine and planning that perfect evening or day. But did you think not what, but how to celebrate your valentine the best? In my opinion it's been faithful to each other and be with each other faithfully for the rest of your lives regardless of all the turbulent times in both your lives. Never let others or little things get to either one of you. Hard as it sound it is the only solution for a solid relationship and a marriage. Respect, honesty, and empathy is crucial for a better relationship. Success of a relationship comes with mutual respect and understanding of each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
Does these qualities are prevelant in today's society? Hard to say. When we are judged by a material world the qualities of a good person has gone unnoticed or mocked by some of the society. I say some because I refuse to say all since there are people in this world still believe in good and respect the goodness of people. Because of that few, the society will bounce back to admire good in people.
The reason I was prompt to write this piece because of a Buddhist story published by "Indiana Buddihist Vihara." Buddha revealed the secret to be with each other in this life time and forever. This is how you could have yours forever:
Story of Nakulapita & Nakulamata
On one occasion the Buddha was dwelling among the Bhagga people, near Sumsumaragiri, in the Deer Park of the Bhesakala Grove. One morning the Blessed One dressed, took his upper robe and bowl, and went to the home of two householders. Arriving there, he sat down on the seat prepared for him. Then the householder Nakulapita and the housewife Nakulamata approached the Blessed One and, after paying homage to him, respectfully sat down to one side. So seated, the householder Nakulapita said to the Blessed One:
"Venerable sir, ever since the young housewife Nakulamata was brought home to me, when I too was still young, I am not aware of having wronged her even in my thoughts, still less in my deeds. Our wish is to be in one another's sight so long as this life lasts and in the future life as well."
Then Nakulamata the housewife addressed the Blessed One: "Venerable sir, ever since I was taken to the home of my young husband Nakulapita, while being a young girl myself, I am not aware of having wronged him even in my thoughts, still less in my deeds. Our wish is to be in one another's sight so long as this life lasts and in the future life as well."
Then the Buddha spoke thus: "If two, householders, wish to be in one another's sight so long as this life lasts and in the future life as well, they should have:
- the same faith (saddha)
- the same moral dicipline (sila)
- the same generosity (caga)
- the same wisdom (panna)
Then they will be in one another's sight so long as this life lasts and in the future life as well."
When both are faithful and generous,
Self-restrained, of righteous living,
They come together again
Full of love for each other.
Many blessings come their way,
They dwell together in happiness,
Their enemies are left dejected,
When both are equal in virtue
Having lived by Dharma, in this world,
The same in virtue and observance,
They rejoice after death in the deva-world,
Enjoying abundant happiness.
(AN 4:55; II 61-62)
How he came off his illness because of her compassion
The other incident also is recorded in the Anguttara Nikaya. Once Nakulapita was grievously ill. Then his wife, Nakulamata, came to his bedside, spoke to him tenderly, and made him understand her many virtues, and that he should not entertain any thoughts of anxiety, worry or doubts on her account. She advised him not to undermine his health by such disturbing thoughts.
When Nakulapita was thus counselled and consoled by his loving Nakulamata, his sickness subsided. Thus saved by her willing hands and loving heart, Nakulapita, leaning on a staff, visited the Buddha and saluted him. Thereupon the Blessed One, while praising the virtues of Nakulamata said: “Good man you have greatly gained in having had as your guide and teacher such a wife as Nakulamata who is so full of compassion toward you and so well-wishing.”
It is said that the couple attained sanctity (the paths) together, and that these two were placed by the Buddha as chief of those that win confidence.
WISH YOU AND YOURS A HAPPY VALENTINE!!
P.S. Credit of the story to Indiana Buddhist Temple